Sunday, May 18, 2014

Last Chance

She laid there as the thick crimson warm liquid seeped out of her body leaving it limp and stinging with pain. She closed her eyes in a failed attempt to relinquish some of the pain and began trying to steady her irregular breathing. An excruciating burning sensation crept up her throat, tightening it, making it almost impossible for air slip through now. As her life drained from her she began to think about why she was here in the first place…
It was a hot Saturday evening; one of those hot Chicago days where your clothes stick to your body, everyone stays under the air conditioner and do nothing because it is simply too hot. Tasha sat on the pallet that she had made on the floor. She hated sleeping on pallets, but she also hated making her mom feel bad. It was the best they could do right now. So she sucked it up today just like every other and continued to make her several attempts at perfectly painting her nails. When starting her right hand side she began to think about what she'd wear; tonight Tasha was going out for a night on the town with her friends, Ashanti and Kierra. They were going to the club Fahrenheit 451. According to Kierra’s big mouth, it was where everyone went to party and where the hottest songs were always bumping. With those thoughts it then hit her what she’d wear. After a while of digging in her closet, she came out with the outfit and sat on her window sill. Just then her phone rang and she immediately answered it.
“Hello”
“Hey Tasha, girl get ready we’ll be there soon!” Ashanti announced excitedly.
“Ummm…. Alrighty.” Tasha said grimly.
“Tash don’t worry about it. I know you haven’t been out in while but I think it would be good for you to get out for a change and stop being crammed up in that house.” Ashanti advised. Tasha didn’t say anything. Instead, she responded with a big sigh: one that screamed I am not so sure about this.
“You will be fine, trust me. We will be there soon…” Ashanti soothingly said.
In that moment Tasha thought to herself: How did I let them drag me into this? One it is a million degrees out. Two I don’t really like clubs, let alone people in the first place. And three, well, I don’t really feel like I am ready for this. It was too soon and now the pressure of the whole thing came crashing down around her.
A knock at her door took her from her thoughts; it was her mother. Her mother was a pretty woman with medium length curly black hair that cascaded down to her shoulders and rested gracefully on her beautiful and flawless dark brown skin. She smiled, releasing a bit of radiance that opened up her 5’8” frame. Tasha and her mother looked just alike except for the fact that Tasha was noticeably younger and kept her hair several inches shorter.
Her mother looked at her as if she was searching for something to say. She started to begin but then stopped herself. Tasha knew what her mother was thinking about, and instantly she felt uncomfortable. She didn’t want to talk about it. Not now, not later, and probably not ever. By now Tasha was almost ready and was apply the finishing touches to her makeup. Her mother could see the nervousness all over her child and decided to say something.
“Tasha I know you are a little unsure of this but I think it will be really good for you. I am glad that you are finally getting out the house again. I know that since the incident that you-….” Tasha’s mom said. Mama Reed, what everyone called Tasha’s mother, was interrupted by the sound of a phone, it was Kierra. Thank god Tasha thought as she breathed a sigh of relief and answered the phone.
“Tasha we out here! Come on down.” Kierra and Ashanti yelled into the phone.
“Alright give me a sec, here I come.” Tasha mumbled.
Tasha took one last look at herself in the mirror, giving herself a final once over. She fingered her hair and pulled down her skirt. Then she stopped and looked into the eyes of her reflection. She didn’t want to do this, but she knew she should. Her anxiety seemed to be coming on so she began her breathing exercises and made feeble attempts at clearing her mind, all the while continuing to stare at her reflection. Then the shrill screams of her of cell phone snapped her out of her own world, and at that she whisked up her purse, kissed her mother goodbye, and walked out the door.
When she reached the car there sat Kierra in the driver’s seat changing the radio station and Ashanti smoking one of those nasty cancer sticks that Tasha hated in the passenger seat. Tasha jumped in the backseat of the car and was immediately happy she came. She smiled the biggest smile she’d had for a long while now. Kierra and Ashanti looked backed at Tasha. None them could help it, they all squealed and went in for a group hug.
“Oh my God, I missed you guys so much!” cried Tasha.
“We missed you too!” said Kierra and Ashanti in unison.
“Look at y’all, y’all look great! I guess that’s what dating a baller will get you” Tasha said, looking at Ashanti.
“You know it, girl but don’t start lecturing me. Trust me, I know. Don’t worry I am still going to school and I got that job I applied for a while back.” Ashanti asserted.
“Mmmmhmm….  Just be careful, you know how I feel about that! Jake and I-” Tasha broke off
Silence filled the air for a few beats.
“OOOOOOOOOO!!!! Turn it up, Turn it up!” Tasha ordered.
Kierra turned it up and it was their song, Single Ladies by Beyoncé. They jammed out to the music all the way to the parking lot of Fahrenheit 451.After finding a parking spot, they jumped out and strutted into the club. As soon as they reached the bar and sat down on stool they had drinks coming at them from left and right and it continued that way for the rest of the night. They all thought it was funny because other than Ashanti who smoked cigarettes none of them touched drugs or liquor; they might (and thats a big might) drink a sip or two but they were getting bottles. They sat down, ordered some food and began talking, them all playing a game of Catch Up. After an hour of sitting around they rose to their feet and made their way to the dance floor. Tasha smiled to herself. She was on cloud nine. Her friends always had a way of making her feel better without ever really trying. When they made it to the dance floor, it hit Tasha she was really doing this. Kierra saw the nervousness on her face and asked if she was alright. Tasha told her she was fine and excused herself to the bathroom.
When she reached the bathroom she locked the door and that’s when she realized she was out of breathe. She began her breathing exercises and flashes of Jake popped into her head. She thought she had seen him out there on the dance floor but she convinced herself she was just being paranoid yet she was still scared crapless. It had almost been a year since they were together, but he still had an effect on her. She loved him but hated him at the same time. Jake was a monster and an abusive one at that. He was too much and although it took her 3 years she finally removed the hold he had on her. She exhaled roughly, unlocked the door, and confidently walked back onto the edge of the dance floor where she saw her friends having a good time. She let out a laugh as watched Ashanti who was never good at dancing. Just as she was about to walk closer to her friends, she felt her hand being grabbed. Her view was then taken over by a tall, fine, dark chocolate man. He was buff but not too buff; he was just right. Tasha smiled and when he smiled back she almost passed out. His teeth were perfect! He was clean cut, tall, nice clothes, and had good teeth. Ooo, I hope his breathe don’t stink. Please God don’t let this man’s breath stink! She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn’t hear him say his name was Ty, short for Tyrone, and if she wanted to dance. She stood there stuck on stupid, smiling wildly, staring at him hungrily, and missing every word he said.
He spoke again, “The name is Ty. You are a beautiful girl and you look like you need some fun in your life. Let’s dance. Will you dance with me Ms. errrr…”
“Tasha” She answered faster than she probably should have and thought about the trueness of his statement. ‘You look like you need some fun in your life’. Wasn’t that an understatement. Do I really look that sad? Is it that obvious?
She was taken out of her thoughts as he gently pulled her towards the dance floor. She struggled at first, she hadn’t danced in a while, but once he wrapped his arms around her she melted like butter. They cuddled up together, her head lying against his strong chest and shoulders with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. They took in each other’s scents and said a few words here and there. It was like they knew each other; it was a shared natural bond.
What started as dancing to one or two song quickly turned into 9 which later turned into dancing for hours for Tasha and Ty. They danced until the last song played out and the club began to shut down around them. When Kierra and Ashanti came over to check on Tasha, she and Ty broke away for the first time.
“Tasha we gotta get ready and go. Who’s your new friend?” Ashanti’s nosy butt questioned.
“Alright, here I come. And this is Ty,” he waved “Anyway let me go to the bathroom and I will be ready. Y’all go ahead to the car and I’ll be out soon.”

With that her two best friends walked away and began getting their belongings together. Tasha looked up at Ty, not knowing what to do or say next. He broke the silence asking what time it was. She whipped out her phone and told him, but as she went to put it back in her pocket he slipped it out of her hand. After some clicking and searching he handed her phone back and showed her his now programmed number. She smiled and so did he. Dang, that smile again, thought Tasha. He kissed her on the forehead, told her to call him, and bid her a goodbye.
        She walked to the bathroom and used it. When she finished washing her hands she splash water on her face removing her makeup and the sweat that must have accumulated on the dance floor. She dried her face with a paper towel, those cheap things, and look into the eyes of her reflection for what seemed like the millionth time today. It was weird this time though, she looked into her eyes and she no longer saw sadness; she saw something happy and it gave her hope. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail, fixed her clothes, and smiled. She walked confidently out the bathroom, but stopped dead in her tracks almost fainting when she took in the features of the crazed man staring back at her. It was Jake.

Tasha looked into his eyes and could only see coldness and hate. She wondered how she had once mistaken those eyes as loving, they always had a hint of evil in them, but in that moment she saw more evil than ever staring back at her; that scared her. She kicked herself for going to the bathroom alone.
“Tasha” he said.
“Jacob” she replied.
“How are you? You look” He stared at her hungrily, his eyes undressing her. “Good.”
“Thank you, but I should be going... You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not in a real talking mood.” Tasha stated bluntly and went to walk away.
“Don’t be like that baby you know I love you,” He tightly grabbed her shoulder and pulled her forcefully close onto him. “But you always gotta go and do something stupid and now I gotta punish you. And who was that chump pushed all up on you?”
Tasha tried to push him off but to no avail. She began to scream but her cries for help were quickly silenced with Jacob’s hand wrapped tightly around her neck. She struggled against him, she couldn't breathe, and tears began to stream down face; she couldn't stop him, he was wild like an animal, and she wouldn't be surprised if he choked her out right then and there…
“Tasha you left me and I decided to let you live, but now you think you can let another man touch on you? Now you had to know I wasn’t going for that. But I love you Tasha so Imma give you one more chance.” He seethed. He stopped choking her. “Leave with me Tasha.”
“No” She said defiantly and spit at him.
He gritted his teeth. “Have it your way” he said in low monotonic whisper.
And to Tasha’s surprise he released her, backed up, fixed her clothes and his, gave her a weak smile, and walked away. She released a huge exhale and looked down still shocked. She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't see what Jacob had done and it didn't register until she was slammed onto the floor of the club. She was shot three times in the stomach by Jacob. With one tear rolling down his face he spat, “I loved you”. And with that he ran.
She laid there as the thick crimson warm liquid seeped out of her body leaving it limp and stinging with pain. She closed her eyes in a failed attempt to relinquish some of the pain and began trying to steady her irregular breathing. An excruciating burning sensation crept up her throat, tightening it, almost impossible for air slip through now. Then out nowhere came Ty he was shocked and didn't know what to do.
“Tasha! Somebody call an ambulance. A woman is shot! Call an ambulance!! Tasha, what happened?” He shouted.
She couldn't talk as she choked on her blood. He tried to help her; he made efforts to clot the blood, he performed mouth to mouth, everything. But it was too late, it was already done. She was here now, dying of the fatal wound. She looked into his eyes one last time, and then stared off to the ceiling, a stare begging for more time; it was not received. She took her last breath.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Old Money, New Money, and Everybody Else

    In the Great Gatsby, it is all about the Benjamins. On the one hand, we have the old money, inhabitants of East Egg, who have had money in their family for a long time. The old money are people mark with class possessing very high stature and connections. On the other hand there is the new money, this group is made up of those who came up from "rags to riches", working themselves from the ground up. Ironically, the people from old money look down on the new money. They feel the newcomers have it easy whereas the old money and their ancestors had to work for their riches. (Do they not realize that their riches were inherited and not earned? Do they even realize that all old money was once new?) Anyhow the two groups have a little bit of a rivalry and choose not to really fraternize with each other.
     In the book there seems to be dollar-signs painted all over town, but there were those who didn't have much (I like to call them "everybody else").  These people basically have nothing when compared to the Toms or Gatsbys but that didn't' stop them from enjoying the lavish lifestyles money can buy. They passed their time going to extravagant parties like that of Gatsby where they got a chance to experience fine things and have a good time.
     In perspective of today, we have old and new money but they seem to pretty much get along (except for the occasional rivalry between celebrities but sometimes those are publicity stunts). Today there isn't much integration between those with money and "everybody else". However, it would be really fun if there was. I would love to go to a party like the ones Gatsby threw in the book.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I am thankful for....

A classmate that I am thankful for is Morgan! A few days after the first day of school Morgan was assigned to the seat next to me. Initially I thought she was going to a mean, know-it-all, but she actually turned out to be super nice, patient, and helpful! 
After the first week of my new English class I was really intimidated and super quiet because I didn't know anyone. Then I got to know Morgan, and she became my first friend in the class. Morgan helped me break out of my shell and feel more comfortable in class. Morgan is so helpful, always has an interesting point of view on things that we are reading, and is an excellent student all around. She is a joy to work with, and anytime I didn't understand something or didn't read she was always there to catch me up.  

I appreciate Morgan's kindness, patience, and her friendship. Morgan has made me a better student in many aspects and I appreciate this as well. For this Thanksgiving I am not only thankful for living, my family, food, my home, cable, and internet but I am also thankful for Morgan! (Thank you for everything Morgan! Happy Holidays!)

Sunday, November 10, 2013

I Celebrate Myself

Transcendentalists are people who believe that religion and politics are just things that cloud the purity of human beings; they believe that those who are self- reliant will prevail. Transcendentalists celebrate themselves every day. They embrace their way of thinking, style, and their individuality as a whole. These revolutionaries aren't afraid to step out the box or to run away from the mold society made has for them. 
Just like the transcendentalists I celebrate myself. I celebrate my individuality. I celebrated my uniqueness, my looks, my thinking, my style, my way of speaking, my dreams, and the way I lead my life. I celebrate the fact that I don't let a religion or political group control or narrow my views; I don't compromise my purity and virtues by going with something I don't agree with.

While it's nice to fit in and be well liked by others, my life doesn't revolve around it. Similar to the transcendentalists, my main goal is to just live my life for me! However that doesn't mean you will see me burning money, running in to middle of the wilderness for refuge,  or only feeling freedom in complete solitude. In fact, this is very unappealing and scary to me! So although I love myself and my individuality, I would be the ABSOLUTE LAST person to do some of the “out of this world” things we saw in the movie Into the Wild. I guess I won’t be a devote transcendentalist but I do possess some of the characteristics of one. One thing I realized from this unit is that I Celebrate Myself and I do so proudly because I am the only one who truly can; I love this, and I will continue to celebrate myself for the rest of my life!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Poe

Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849) was an influential American writer who was a part of the Romantic Movement. Most people would say he had a hard life because he loss so many loved ones and seemed to always carry grief (wife, parents, etc.). In a way, his constant sorrow and grief was good thing because it influenced his writing style which he is famous for. Poe was one of the first authors to introduce science fiction, made up of out of this world characters with supernatural powers and stuff. Maybe he went a little crazy when his family members died, and it opened a whole new world for him. In some of his pieces the narrator (him, maybe) has some sort of sorrow or loss of loved one and struggles with the pain throughout (The Raven & Ligeia). 
His craziness really, I think, positively influenced his writing. Poe is awesome at storytelling. Although wordy at times, he is great at creating suspense and imagery to set the stage for his pieces. Another thing I like about his style is that it is never dull or boring; there is always some mystery, wonder, and excitement about his work. Poe knows just how to word things and uses many literary devices to further emphasize his points which make his pieces all the more exquisite.
My favorite Poe short story is Tell Tale Heart. This story is LITERALLY one of my favorite pieces of literature and everyone should read it (video animation of story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDLLHTdVSgU)! It is basically about a guy who hates the sight of an old man's eye and he goes to extreme lengths to never see it again. Poe is so crazy but I love it and it really works in this short story.

Poe is weird dude with a broad imagination and I absolutely love it and so do many others. Without him literature would be really dull so thank you Edgar Allan Poe for your imaginative writing style!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Modern Slavery

Okay so this blog is perfect because I was just reading about this in my world studies class, and I thought it was pretty interesting! So as everyone should know, a couple hundred years ago slavery was alive and thriving. Africans were taken from their homes in the night and placed on boats on a journey to America, where they were bought like objects and forced to work long hours without pay. The slave owners or masters, as they were called, used inhumane tactics and created strict rules to oppress the workers. Everything that was put in place was created to destroy the progress of blacks and further engrave the idea that they were worthless and couldn't even be compared to their white counterparts. Fortunately, the civil war came about and slavery was later abolished in America; or at least the "man" made it seem that way. Was slavery erased? Has our country overcome slavery? Well if you ask the author of The New Jim Crow, she would argue no. 
Like the slaves, who were in chains and brought down by the weight of oppression unable to vote, obtain an education, be included in social activities, or treated with respect, black people, who make up about 12% of the American population, fill up 40% of the prisons alone. According to Michelle, the author of the article, this is because of the drug war which is used as a new way to push the black community further behind and exclude them from the American society once again. The argument presented in this article is basically that the white man presents a way for the poor, of all races, to make money through drugs, and then the white legal system in term comes back to chain the poor, but this time only/mostly blacks, shipping them to jail; in jail theses drug dealer criminals are given a felony, as this is against the law. This label of a felon decreases their chances of getting a job, takes away their ability to get any type of government support, ability to vote, and they are excluded/discriminated against for the rest of their lives; these struggles are similar if not the same as those of a slave. The modern slavery of America is the legal system and its almost invisible methods keeping the black race from furthering.
I don't know if I completely agree with this argument however it is a way to look things. Has our society found new ways to bring others down? Is this a conscious or unconscious action? Who's to say but I thought I'd share this idea and get other people’s opinions on it.
Modern Slavery=Legal System?

Saturday, October 19, 2013

What is an American?

By definition an American is anyone who lives in or of origin to the Americas, both South and North. However many people believe that being American is living or being born in the United States. To me this answer is too simplistic. Is this all that makes someone American? On the one hand yes but is there something deeper that connects people and makes them American? One that disregards the fact that Americans live in the Americas? What are the qualities we, Americans, share?
Earth has existed for about 4.6 billion years and America is just a little baby in comparison by it being only 200 years old. In the beginning America was in habited by Native Americans/Africans; then came the English settlers and over time other cultures and races immigrated to form a better lives. When a government was established it was one that provided liberty and the pursuit of happiness; this government has lasted for a long time and still sticks to those same principles. As a result of this way of life/government, America has reeled in so many different types of people, and is known as the “melting pot” of the world. Many immigrants come to America because they may have been persecuted or poor and are looking for freedom, jobs, and a life in which they can succeed.
Over the years Americans, specifically from the United States, are people who are all descendants from those who, at some point, emigrated from their homes to form a better life. They were all in the search of the American dream (the idea that one could go from rags to riches with hard work), ways to make profit from land, or an escape from injustice. So when asked what an American is, in the words of Drake, who I think said it best would describe Americans as people who “started at the bottom” and are now here, at the top, because of their hard work.